Christmas Vacation

For those of you who haven't watched it in a while, pull it out of the DVD shelf, make some popcorn and pop it in.
We watch it every year, and each time it seems to get better and better. Taylor got to laughing so hard she literally peed her pants. Aside from the visuals, the redeemable quotes never stop. I stole this list from a friends blog, why should I have to do all the grunt work.
Sit back read them and enjoy.


#10 - While searching for the "Griswold Family Christmas Tree":
Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.
Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.

#9 - Clark and his father:
Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

#8 - Clark greeting the company executives:
Clark: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

#7 - Eddie and the family show up unexpectedly:
Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

#6 - Audrey complaining to Ellen about having to share a bed with her brother because the grandparents took hers:
Audrey: Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?
Ellen: Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.

#5 - Clark saucer-sledding with Cousin Eddie and the kids:
Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

#4 - Clark lingerie shopping for his wife with some "attractive" counter help from Mary:
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?


#3 - Clark and Ellen after the Holiday takes a turn for the worse:
Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.


#2 - As Eddie empties his "RV's" chemical toilet into the storm drain:
Eddie: Shitter was full!!
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?
Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
Clark: He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.

#1 - Clark describing his last minute Christmas wish after being screwed out of his bonus:
Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Watch it if you haven't...and if you have, watch it again...
Let me know if I've missed your favorite!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!