I'm only one man, there's only so many people I can piss off in one day. Although, thanks to the internet, my production has gone up nicely.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Mahana mahana

Taylor loves this Muppets video, so I thought I would share it.

I am Thankful

Today being Thanksgiving, I started looking at my life and what I am Thankful for.

I am Thankful for...

Waking up to the sound of Guitar Hero blaring from downstairs, instead of Hip Hop Rap.

Being able to get ice from the refrigerator door, as our 16 year old refrigerator took a crap last week and we had to get a new one during the holiday shopping season.

People who share... their colds and grunge in a timely manner so I don't actually have to use a sick day for being sick because today is a paid holiday.

Children who are physically healthy... so they can fight and hit and argue over everything under the sun.

Children who have multiple game consoles... so they can argue over the one the other is already playing, see previous post.

Low gas prices... so I can afford to drive to Trudy's moms house today (7 miles) and waste an entire day watching TV and breaking up arguments of house bound kids.

We don't have dinner until 2pm so we leave home at 1pm. see previous post.

In reality I am truly thankful for many things in my families life, but all those items would get boring. Sometimes boring is a good thing.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Lone Ranger & Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got
their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe,
look towards sky; what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." What that tell you
?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it
appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole tent."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Little Johnny Strikes Again

Happy Hump Day!

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said,

- "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said,

- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said,

- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said,

- "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said,

- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said,

- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Man vs Wild

If you have ever watched "Man vs Wild" here is a spoof of the same show in a more urban setting. Bear Gryllis will eat most anything in the wild, and this video is no exception.

Man vs. Girls Gone Wild

Added another firearm to my Anti-Obama arsenal

By Anti-Obama arsenal, I don't mean that I will shoot him, silly Libs.
Just that since he will try to take away our 2nd ammendment, I am buying ahead of time.
I already have an old .22 rifle given to me by my dad. The boys have a youth .22 single shot rifle I bought them last year. I also have a 12 gauge Mossburg purchased last year.

Tonight I bought a Ruger Mini 14 Ranchers rifle .233 caliber(5.56 = to the M16, but this rifle won't fire as far).
I bought 200 rounds to break it in, but will buy about 5,000 at the Gun Show in two weeks. I will also try to find some 20 round clips and a scope for the Ruger.
I also bought 20 "00 Buck" shot for the Shotgun, plus some target practice shells.
I'm ordering a short barrell for the shotgun tomorrow. You can never have enough ammo when the Libs try to erase our 2nd ammendment.

When Obama tries to take from the "HAVES" to give to the "HAVE NOT any common sense, we voted for Obama crowd". I will be ready.

Country Music Awards

Anyone else notice? Kenny Chesney stammering initially when he won entertainer of the year. Shania Twain looking exceptionally hot after how many years away? Kenny stuttered and stammered, then composed himself.

I don't really care for Shania's music, it all sounds the same, but she was looking HOT for her return to public life tonight.

Trudy really likes Kenny, she claims he has a hot body, but I think its the haircut.....
Shania and Kenny

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day

It is the VETERAN , not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the VETERAN , not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the VETERAN , not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the VETERAN , not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble.
It is the VETERAN , not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the VETERAN , not the politician, who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN , who salutes the Flag,

It is the VETERAN , who serves under the Flag,

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM , AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Semper Fi


Happy Birthday to all United States Marines.
10 November 1775 in a bar... Tun Tavern, the Marine Corps was born. Semper Fi to all who have served and God Speed to all still serving today. OOH RAH!!!

To all others, thank a Marine you know for your right to bitch and moan about everything else.

Respectfully submitted:
Robert Whittaker
Sgt USMC
1987-1993

Some people spend an entire lifetime
wondering if they made a difference.
The Marines don't have that problem.
- President Ronald Reagan, 1985


A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check Made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dems Target Private Retirement Accounts

Here comes the first round. Liberalism is a mental disorder!


Democratic leaders in the U.S. House discuss confiscating 401(k)s, IRAs

B B B But You're Black...

The title is actually taken from a scene in the Lethal Weapon series of movies.

My point being, Obama is black. BFD!!!!!!
I don't look to skin color to determine if I like someone or not. His policies royally suck. So all you touchy feely Libs who voted in the demise of our nation, and emphasised that you voted for a black man, are actually racists.
You voted for a black person and are celebrating the fact that you voted for a black person. Too bad you really don't know or care about what he stands for.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

We tried

Basically my vote in this liberal shithole state really accounted for nothing anyway.

All you gleeful Libs, prepare for higher energy rates, small businesses folding due to higher taxes. Finally, and God forbid, the weakening of our military power. Of course these are all the things you wanted any way. Everyone has to be touchy feely feel good about each other. BO is no Bill Clinton. Bill had to deal with a split in the houses and then a Republican majority to keep him in check. BO will have free reign to destroy our nation. The same Nation I served so you wouldn't have to.
Sleep well you Socialist, Marxist pigs....
I hope you wallow in the mud at the bottom.
Don't expect me to help you out either.

I think thats against the law, but thats ok

Typical Democrat strategy.
Always accusing the Republicans of disenfranchising the voters. Hell ya if you vote more than once, are illegal, or a felon. The latter likely describing this character. The Communist News Network says this alright though. A-holes!!

"It's time for change" What change? This ignorant F&%K has no clue, and should have to pass an intelligence test before he can vote.


Election Night

I'm waiting with anticipatory glee for the results tonight!!!!
I can't wait to camp out by the tv. radio. internet etc. and listen to all the experts explain what is transpiring . . .

or


I'm going to vote then get 3 cases of beer and bottle of Jack, go on a 5 day binge and hope I wake up in another country and never find out who won.

I hate to drink alone if anyone else is interested

Vegas Trip / Jeff and Mia's Wedding

The whole reason for our trip to Vegas was for Trudy's brother Jeff. Jeff and Mia were married on Saturday Nov 1st at the Bellagio.

We arrived Friday morning at 8:30. My sister Angela flew in from Phoenix and we were able to meet up at the airport.

We spent Friday getting our hotels situated and finding out that a buffet breakfast at the Paris is not cheap. We spent $85 for two adults and three kids, although Travis is 13.
While Angela checked into the Bellagio, I hit the slots, and won $42. Breakfast was now reasonable.
The remainder of the day was set aside for the rehearsal and dinner.
After dinner we left the kids with Trudy's parents and hit the casino's with Angela.
Within a few hours I had burned through $100. Trudy had lost $50, only because she didn't play much.
Being that it was Halloween, I have to mention the crazy costumes.
G-rated was a referee with dark glasses and a blind walking cane.
PG rated was quite a few people dressed up as Sgt Dangle from "Reno 911".
R-rated was just about every 20 something woman. Skirts so high up there was nothing to the imagination, and blouses cut so low they met the bottom of the skirts. Hey really I'm not complaining, just reporting the facts.
X-rated was two girls, one was a life size penis, the other a life size vagina. I took a picture of these two on my cell phone, my phone has since crashed. I got a new one last night.

Trudy and I had been up since 3am and decided to go back to our room around midnight.
Before we made it from the Bellagio to the Paris, Angela called. She hit a $500 jackpot, then hit another $250 while talking to me.
She stayed up until 2am and hit a few more times. The following night she hit another $500+ at Planet Hollywood. Then while her flight was delayed on Sunday she hit another $300. That girl has the touch.

Saturday Jeff and Mia were married. The Bellagio photographer had them sign a modeling contract to use their wedding pics for advertisements. They are a good looking couple.
After the Reception, Trudy, Angela and I hit the casinos again. I was able to win $185 at Planet Hollywood, about the same time Angela hit her $500+. Trudy was still scoreless and gambling with some money Angela gave her. We went our separate ways at about 3am. Trudy went to bed and I stayed up hitting the slots at the Paris.
I burned through $100 by 5:30am, and only had a $100 bill from my earlier win. I said screw it and cashed into $20's. Within five minutes I hit a $325, and $275 win.
I immediately called Angela. (she was still up, can you blame her?)At the same time Trudy shows up bleary eyed to see when I was coming to bed. I showed her my winnings, and she let me be. That was my last win, and I burned another $50 at the airport.
We may head back to Las Vegas for my Fortieth birthday.

Here are a few pics of the wedding. The Chapel was pretty dark, so I had to enhance the lighting














THE USGA WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL GOLFERS

There is a possibility of MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf, this may occur sometime after November 4.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written now.
Here are a couple of basic changes.


Golfers with handicaps:
below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%
between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the club/course played


The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
for handicaps below 10 an additional $10
between 11 and 18 no additional amount
above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot and you do not even have to play.


The term "gimme putt" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
handicaps below 10, no entitlements
handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it up


These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in scoring so that the final scores of all players will be about the same.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and/or six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that Player begin to count his score again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps 18 and above.

This is intended to "redistribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's gross score.

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.