Taylor loves this Muppets video, so I thought I would share it.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I am Thankful
Today being Thanksgiving, I started looking at my life and what I am Thankful for.
I am Thankful for...
Waking up to the sound of Guitar Hero blaring from downstairs, instead of Hip Hop Rap.
Being able to get ice from the refrigerator door, as our 16 year old refrigerator took a crap last week and we had to get a new one during the holiday shopping season.
People who share... their colds and grunge in a timely manner so I don't actually have to use a sick day for being sick because today is a paid holiday.
Children who are physically healthy... so they can fight and hit and argue over everything under the sun.
Children who have multiple game consoles... so they can argue over the one the other is already playing, see previous post.
Low gas prices... so I can afford to drive to Trudy's moms house today (7 miles) and waste an entire day watching TV and breaking up arguments of house bound kids.
We don't have dinner until 2pm so we leave home at 1pm. see previous post.
In reality I am truly thankful for many things in my families life, but all those items would get boring. Sometimes boring is a good thing.
I am Thankful for...
Waking up to the sound of Guitar Hero blaring from downstairs, instead of Hip Hop Rap.
Being able to get ice from the refrigerator door, as our 16 year old refrigerator took a crap last week and we had to get a new one during the holiday shopping season.
People who share... their colds and grunge in a timely manner so I don't actually have to use a sick day for being sick because today is a paid holiday.
Children who are physically healthy... so they can fight and hit and argue over everything under the sun.
Children who have multiple game consoles... so they can argue over the one the other is already playing, see previous post.
Low gas prices... so I can afford to drive to Trudy's moms house today (7 miles) and waste an entire day watching TV and breaking up arguments of house bound kids.
We don't have dinner until 2pm so we leave home at 1pm. see previous post.
In reality I am truly thankful for many things in my families life, but all those items would get boring. Sometimes boring is a good thing.
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Lone Ranger & Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got
their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe,
look towards sky; what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." What that tell you
?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it
appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole tent."
their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe,
look towards sky; what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." What that tell you
?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it
appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole tent."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Little Johnny Strikes Again
Happy Hump Day!
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
How Government Works
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said,
- "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said,
- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said,
- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said,
- "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said,
- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said,
- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
- "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said,
- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said,
- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said,
- "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said,
- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said,
- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Man vs Wild
If you have ever watched "Man vs Wild" here is a spoof of the same show in a more urban setting. Bear Gryllis will eat most anything in the wild, and this video is no exception.
Man vs. Girls Gone Wild
Man vs. Girls Gone Wild
Added another firearm to my Anti-Obama arsenal
By Anti-Obama arsenal, I don't mean that I will shoot him, silly Libs.
Just that since he will try to take away our 2nd ammendment, I am buying ahead of time.
I already have an old .22 rifle given to me by my dad. The boys have a youth .22 single shot rifle I bought them last year. I also have a 12 gauge Mossburg purchased last year.
Tonight I bought a Ruger Mini 14 Ranchers rifle .233 caliber(5.56 = to the M16, but this rifle won't fire as far).
I bought 200 rounds to break it in, but will buy about 5,000 at the Gun Show in two weeks. I will also try to find some 20 round clips and a scope for the Ruger.
I also bought 20 "00 Buck" shot for the Shotgun, plus some target practice shells.
I'm ordering a short barrell for the shotgun tomorrow. You can never have enough ammo when the Libs try to erase our 2nd ammendment.
When Obama tries to take from the "HAVES" to give to the "HAVE NOT any common sense, we voted for Obama crowd". I will be ready.
Just that since he will try to take away our 2nd ammendment, I am buying ahead of time.
I already have an old .22 rifle given to me by my dad. The boys have a youth .22 single shot rifle I bought them last year. I also have a 12 gauge Mossburg purchased last year.
Tonight I bought a Ruger Mini 14 Ranchers rifle .233 caliber(5.56 = to the M16, but this rifle won't fire as far).
I bought 200 rounds to break it in, but will buy about 5,000 at the Gun Show in two weeks. I will also try to find some 20 round clips and a scope for the Ruger.
I also bought 20 "00 Buck" shot for the Shotgun, plus some target practice shells.
I'm ordering a short barrell for the shotgun tomorrow. You can never have enough ammo when the Libs try to erase our 2nd ammendment.
When Obama tries to take from the "HAVES" to give to the "HAVE NOT any common sense, we voted for Obama crowd". I will be ready.
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