R.I.P. Paul Newman

"Sometimes Nothing Can Be A "Real Cool Hand"

The truth behind the mortgage crisis

This was posted on my friend Darby's blog. It bears sharing with others. It is the same truth the media and Libs don't want you to know. How anyone with half a wit can back the Left after this information is shared is beyond me.

Edit, the video is no longer available. Must be the beginning of the Fairness Doctrine.....

Fire pit finished

I think I started this project a few weeks before the Fourth of July. Between camping trips, cars shows and a few very hot weekends, I finally managed to get it done. In the process the rest of the yard suffered, but it won't take long to whip back into shape.
We were always using the portable fire pits out in the front driveway, and I felt it was time to make a permanent one in the backyard. Eventually the yard will shift from children's play area to a place for adults to kick back and enjoy.
We have used it about 5 times now, and added a small water feature to create a relaxing ambiance.
To all neighbors, if you smell smoke come on in and pull up a chair.

I apologize for the poor picture quality, they were taken with my cell phone.

Appliance repair question

This doesn't even seem possible, but my dad's old Whirlpool(30yrs) dishwasher seems to clean dishes on one side of it but not on the other.

I'd like to replace it but the money just isn't there right now.

Is there a reasonable explanation why this would happen?

Thanks guys.

Reply:

Sorry Jeff but I got bad news for ya. See, most of us only dirty one side of the dishes. Therefore I think we can safely assume your dishwasher is probably not working at all.

On the Right side....

I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

"Wow - what a worthy goal," I told her, "You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Crashed Market Humor

So now that the market has crashed and wiped out my life savings, I figured that I'd better go back to work to pay for things. After about 4 or 5 minutes of thinking about where someone with all of my experience could quickly find a job, I decided that it would either be McDonalds or WalMart (as they seem to be the only 2 companies that have any money left). I have chosen WalMart, as there is a larger choice of positions available.

Before I submit my application, would you please critique?

NAME:Grumpy Old Bastard

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be ‘Do you have a car that runs?’ I have 1 of each.

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 700 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Dallas Cowboys, I'm back...

Tonight after watching the Cowboys play I have decided to lift my ban on being a Cowboys Fan.
This ban was instituted in 1988 when the Legendary Tom Landry was fired. Growing up in Phoenix we didn't have a pro football team to root for (and they still don't!) In my younger days I was a die hard Cowboys Fan. Names like Roger Staubach, Randy White, Tony Dorsett, Tony Hill, Ed "Too Tall" Jones, just to name a few were a major part of my life. The Cowboys went through a few tough years in the mid eighties, then Tom Landry was fired, just after Jerry Jones bought the team. I quit rooting for the Jerry Jones Cowboys then and there. I suffered through the Aikman and Emmitt Smith years wanting to cheer them on, but I held my oath.
Here we are twenty years later, I think enough time has passed. So here we go....
Go Cowboys!!


By the way, anyone notice the resemblance in the color of my Chevelle and the Cowboys colors. That was no accident.


Even if the Cowboys don't win, there are always the cheerleaders....